Are You An Imposter?

Many of us worry that the term impostor syndrome really does apply to us. Perhaps our success is not justified? Perhaps we were just lucky and don’t really deserve to be where we are?

But it may also have occurred to you that maybe you yourself are creating these feelings – feelings that it is now time to let go of. You feel ashamed and desperately wish you could find the confidence to overcome it. You know you need to understand what lies behind these flawed thinking patterns if you are to have any chance of ultimately building strategies to eliminate them.

But I would also like to discuss why just using the term “impostor syndrome” can create even more significant obstacles to your personal development journey, and explore which of us may be exposed to externally motivated impostor syndrome.

Why is the term Impostor Syndrome so relevant right now?

Especially in the last 2 years, this term has become very much en vogue. A prime influence is probably social media and its tendency to proliferate ‘self-development’ advice from self-declared ‘coaches’. But the pandemic has also greatly contributed to it. The lack of social interactions and the dilution of ‘community’ brought on by isolation requirements have cut many of us off from the reassuring social interactions that previously maintained our confidence, greatly increasing the experience of maybe feeling like a fraud.

Are You Experiencing Impostor Syndrome?

The most obvious symptom is the general feeling that others are better and know more than you.

And, there are many other circumstances that can contribute to impostor syndrome. Among the most common are:

• Feeling insecure when starting a new job
• Relocating to a new city, or even a new country, where you know no one
• A promotion or expansion of responsibilities in your work
• Assignment to a different team
• Starting something completely new to you

BUT! These symptoms do NOT make you an impostor…they just make you feel like one.

So What Is Happening?

The emotions that you are experiencing can be interpreted in two ways. This means that when you are experiencing these fears and doubts,  you have to decide if:

1. You are pushing your boundaries and stepping out of your comfort zone, or
2. You are really not equipped for the task and feel that you have to ‘fake it till you make it.’

The second interpretation is the one that could lead to feeling like an impostor;  you start believing you’re not the right person for the task, you feel fear of being judged, exposed as a fraud, and likely also really fear that you will fail.

And, while the term impostor syndrome might provide a label for what you are experiencing, it still doesn’t give you a solution on how to overcome the underlying fear.

Impostor syndrome takes a simple, straightforward emotional experience: fear, and turns it into a more complex social and mental concept. Further, attaching the term ‘syndrome’ changes an emotional experience into what is perceived as a mental illness. Yuk!!!

Impostor Syndrome Definition

First and foremost, impostor syndrome is not a mental health condition.

Further, the Oxford Dictionary defines the word syndrome as a group of symptoms that consistently occur together, or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms. Though impostor syndrome, phenomenon, or experience is NOT an actual mental health condition.

Contrary to common belief, impostor syndrome needs an outside impulse. Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes came across the phenomenon as a result of analyzing why women moving into the workplace felt like they didn’t belong, and were not equipped to do their job. Further, they looked at their surroundings and the behavior these women were exposed to. In doing so, they uncovered the true cause of the insecurities many working women experience.

Women feel like they don’t belong because men frequently create rather hostile environments. These discriminatory actions are what induce impostor syndrome. Words, actions, and emotional symbols create a feedback loop within any interaction. Based on these, you adjust your own behavior and establish what you think is a workable understanding of your own value.

In social psychology, we speak about the power-status relationship. Within every relationship, there are invisible structures that form our communication and interaction patterns. These invisible rules are mostly based on how we feel about a person and their position in society. Depending on the relationship, it can be difficult to speak about the particular effects someone has on you.

The Invisible forces make someone believe she is an impostor.

These  “invisible signs” can make you feel like you don’t belong. And this is where the impostor phenomenon starts – by you feeling rejected by the people surrounding you. An example of that can be a co-worker who never responds to your good morning or often pretends to have forgotten a coffee for you.

These might sound familiar. And as research shows, it doesn’t matter what gender you are, men and women can equally experience the syndrome; though women, especially women of color, are being exposed to impostor syndrome much more predominantly.

When trauma and social impulses make you feel like an imposter.

This is where it gets a little more complicated. An impulse doesn’t have to come directly from the people around you; you can also create it yourself based on your individual memories. This means that it is not necessarily the situation that you are in currently that makes you feel like an impostor – but often it is past experiences that you haven’t let go of yet.

On top of that, high achievers suffer from impostor syndrome more often than other groups of people.

So how do you beat impostor syndrome?

While Imposter Syndrome overcomplicates your inner experience of yourself, the first step in overcoming it is to simplify it. And here is the thing: fear is a rather simple emotional experience.

Here are a  few key questions and tools that will allow you to gain confidence and let go of this nagging feeling.

• The best practice on how to overcome impostor syndrome starts by understanding who you are.

Knowing yourself, understanding your skills, and values, and acknowledging how far you have come, strengthens your self-esteem and confidence. This is not just the first step on your personal development journey, but also the strongest weapon you have against self-destructive thoughts and feelings. (Read more about how to become more self-aware and find out who you are here.)

• Be critical.

Start questioning certain terms you come across, especially when they seem like marketing tools. And, Impostor Syndrome itself is most definitely one of these terms!. 

Personally, my alarm goes off when every second person starts speaking about something or starts diagnosing themselves with a term. That’s when I start questioning the validity of a term. Always remember, science is only valid until it disproves itself. Therefore, nothing is a fact, but it is a learning experience.

Especially because of the potential gravity that the name ‘Impostor Syndrome’ carries, you must be cautious in adopting a term that could have significant implications on your neurological network. The more you tell yourself something, the more you turn into it.

• Redirect your thoughts and feelings.

It all starts with how you feel. Pay attention to your daily wins and make it a habit to focus on the positive outcomes by:

1. Embracing what you don’t know. 
2. Talking to your peers – they are probably feeling the same way.
3. Ask for constructive feedback from your advisor or supervisor. 
4. Acknowledging and celebrating wins
5. Stop comparing yourself with the people around you. Remember that you are seeing just one side of that story. 
6. Ask yourself what you are afraid of and break it into smaller steps. That way, you can conquer some fears each day without getting overwhelmed.

Lastly, no matter what you do: be aware of how much imposter syndrome has impacted you and how (unnecessarily) badly it has made you feel… Keep it simple. And remember, personal development is about overcoming obstacles and letting go of beliefs that don’t allow you to grow…oh, and understand  [1] you have achieved your success through hard work, [2] people do rely on your experience, and [3] you are trusted even when things are not going quite as well as planned.

My name is Dr. Kinga Mnich, and I love breaking down the complexity of human behavior and emotions. I am always open to a constructive discussion about anything that helps us become a better version of ourselves. Make sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on workshops and personal and leadership development tools.