Finding & Following Your Purpose

Why Goal Setting is important to find your purpose! “We’re like a Sword, forged in the fires of conflict, hammered

Why Goal Setting is important to find your purpose!

“We’re like a Sword, forged in the fires of conflict, hammered into shape by the struggles of life, tempered by self-determination, and polished by self-refinements.”

Countless life, financial, and business coaches, Gurus, Shamans, blogs, websites, authors, and numerous mediums and sources implore the importance of goal setting to actualize our dreams and desires. It’s exceptionally important to set a target, an objective, or a milestone for one to define and measure one’s dream, goal, or desire. These are all things I’m sure we’ve all read and encountered embarking on a journey. But, to be honest, I felt immense pressure, confusion, and anxiety around goal setting, like many people. I felt that I had no clue what my goals, calling, or purpose were, so how could I set goals to achieve things I didn’t know I wanted to achieve? What exactly is my dream or desire? How do we set our goals when we don’t understand our vision and cannot envision our future?

In all human groupings, societal structures, cultures, traditions, “norms, “ roles, and “a way of doing things” are present. To an extent, we’ve all been socialized and conditioned. From conception and throughout our childhood, we’ve experienced varying influencers. Our parents’ values, understanding of societal and cultural norms and practices, their parenting styles, our nucleus, and extended familial connections and systems, and so many other influencing factors, including our educational journey and what we see in various online and offline mediums, have and continue to socialize and condition us.

Does your purpose reflect your true desires and talents?

Because of this molding and conditioning, most of us question whether our perception of our dreams, desires, or purpose is a product of our environment or is true and innate. Add to that our “hectic,” busy, and fast-paced lives filled with limitless choices and boundless information at our disposal add more veneers, making it almost impossible for most of us to find our calling or purpose indeed. The unfortunate truth is that most of us will never get to unearth our true desires or purpose. Instead, many of us will find fulfillment in doing things we’re good at, and most of us will be content with that – be it working in a specialized, niche job, playing professional sports, playing in a band or orchestra, sketching, or painting art. 

Some of us feel a sense of emptiness, and we can’t quite pinpoint the cause – the quality of lacking meaning or sincerity. Is this it !? We ask ourselves:

  • Do I want to continue doing what I do for the rest of my life?
  • Is this the legacy I want to leave?

Let me give you a few pointers that may help in your quest for clarity and purpose.

You have the right to say no!


If you find it hard to say no and agree with your colleagues, superiors, spouses, parents, and friends on things they value, not only is there a high probability that you will be taken advantage of, but You will never step into your path and pursue YOUR life. If you’re a person who has never really created healthy boundaries in the past or has not learned to be a tad selfish by saying no at times, no can sound mean and selfish. However, you might be facing an obstacle that makes the shift necessary, even if it will feel uncomfortable initially.

Think of the numerous inspirational narratives you’ve heard of successful, influential, wealthy, and healthy (physically and mentally) people who’ve either risen from little to nothing or those who hit rock bottom and rose like a phoenix from the ashes. Stories of people who managed to create a comfortable life for themselves messed everything up through gambling, and bounced back harder, stories of people who worked on Long Street quit their investment banking jobs to pursue something more fulfilling like humanitarian work, stories of people who grew up in the most unimaginable environments riddled with crime, abuse, violence, and a plethora of social ills shifting their mindsets, almost ignoring the noise from their environments, and becoming high achieving household names. 

Yes, you can do this!

All these people are living proofs that we all have the capacity, the ability to completely transform our minds, our bodies, our spiritual connection, the quality of our relationships, our lives, and our perspectives.

“You don’t know what you have till it’s gone.”

Life definitely teaches us lessons, puts things into perspective, lets us appreciate the positives, and gives us the nuts to re-set and start living in our path with true clarity when shit hits the fan. Funny enough, it’s easier to create the life you have always dreamed of when everything else has been taken away from you. But what if you have all the choices in the world and need to initiate the right move to create the situation you wish for?

Create change and find your purpose.

Change, initiating change, and the process of change is certainly not easy or comfortable. The process of change quite often evolves into an emotional rollercoaster if not managed in a secure and sensitizing manner. To say goodbye to relationships, jobs, friendships, and even apartments is often highly stressful and heart-wrenching. Just the thought of changing something fundamental, something you have attached your identity to for years, like leaving your job and shifting your career path, can cause extreme anxiety. But I can attest and affirm that once you plant that seed, once you have that courageous conversation with yourself and have started to consider taking that leap into the unknown seriously, that seed will only start to germinate.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you leap into your “new,” more fulfilling path straight off the bat; just having the consideration in your mind, the itch to make that necessary pivot will leave uncomfortable, almost “alluring“ sensations in you. You will either walk a path that is unknown and sometimes uncomfortable or find yourself plotting uncomfortable thoughts. Either way, “buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye.” You’re already down the rabbit hole, and just like Dorothy and Alice, your adventure has begun. Enjoy all the wonders, discoveries, and new world, and be the protagonist of your life script.

Why embracing change is empowering?

We need to embrace change, regardless of how painful and complex it may be. We’ll save ourselves a lot of heartache if we do. Change is the only constant. Change is inevitable. Humans are evolvers, and we micro-evolve every day. We are creators of change; we change daily, even if we don’t notice it.

Creating change in our lives is natural and necessary, even if it initially feels uncomfortable. Discomfort is synonymous with motion. When starting a running routine, the first mile can often feel excruciating, but as you continue, it becomes more manageable and enjoyable. Even seasoned athletes feel this. So don’t worry. Discomfort is a necessary process in your transformation journey.

Think of past uncomfortable situations that turned out to be unforgettable experiences. Like white water rafting, bungee jumping, running a half marathon, starting your very first job, or starting a new hobby.

What change would you like to implement in your life? Is there something that you want to change? Or does something feel uncomfortable, but you can’t pinpoint what it is that makes you feel that way? Sometimes, the issue is evident and easy to detect. Other times, it takes a lot of courage and honesty.

Steps you can take to learn what changes you need to create in life.

There are some great approaches to finding out what needs to change in your life. One of the most effective ways of being honest with yourself and understanding your life is by writing. Get a journal and write down your thoughts, your inner conversations, your introspective contemplation, your triggers, your joy catalyzers, your wildly insane audacious dreams, and your desires… Write things down. 

I can go on and on. The point is to lift your mood, reflect and filter positivity to steer your thoughts towards positivity. A positive, healthy mind and body can only help in achieving your goals better. Positive psychology is undoubtedly a very relevant subject in our current world. 

What you can do to find your purpose?

  1. Putting your thoughts and feelings on paper through journaling can be a powerful tool for self-exploration. This is not only a great practice to help you find your purpose. It can also help you gain clarity and understanding when experiencing difficult emotions. Don’t underestimate the therapeutic benefits of putting pen to paper and allowing yourself to express your innermost thoughts. Here are a few prompts for your daily or weekly journaling routine:
  • Describe your daily routine, and write down your goals, dreams, and wishes.
  • Ask yourself what it is that you like to do and what you are good at.
  • Does it make you fulfilled if you do what you are good at?
  • Or would you like to try out something new?
  • Do you want to change your job or even a career? Go for it, but make a plan.

Break down all your objectives into bite-sized, attainable milestones.

  • Write down where you see yourself in 5/10 years.
  • Where will you be living?
  • What type of home will you have?
  • How will you look?
  • What sort of lifestyle will you ideally be living, and how much income will you need to fulfill that life?
  • How are you going to finance that lifestyle?
  • How will you “make a living”?

Don’t get discouraged if it seems daunting initially. Just keep writing and visualizing.  

Nothing is unattainable. We’re capable of so much. We all can achieve what we want if we sincerely pursue it. The path can be narrow, dark, scary, with rough terrain. But just like climbing any mountain, it certainly is a beautiful way of exploring, learning, and growing. Isn’t this why we are here?!

“Reach for the stars, so if you fall, you land on the clouds.”

PS: Feel free to get some journaling prompts here!

Read More:

Building Self-Confidence: Your Success Foundation

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Women entrepreneuership

I'm Dr. Kinga Mnich.

Executive Coach, Social-Psychologist & Emotion Spezialist, Entrepreneur, Change Maker and your Accountability Partner

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