The Social Psychology Behind Leadership Exhaustion (It's Not What You Think)
Welcome to 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders—the weekly boost for leaders, so ambitious people can lead their lives and careers intentionally with confidence and energy.
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Happy Social Psychology Thursday!
As promised, here is another Social Psychological Concept to help you on your leadership journey.
I. Social Psychological Concept
Last week, one of my clients shared something that stopped me in my tracks:
“Pretending that I have it all together and that I know it all is one of the most exhausting aspects of my position. Sitting in this uncertainty and dealing with my and everyone else’s emotions is draining.”
They added:
“Being in the middle without all the information makes it so much more difficult to keep up the trust within the team.”
“Being in the middle without all the information makes it so much more difficult to keep up the trust within the team.”
Let’s call this client Em.
As a social psychologist, I immediately recognized what Em was describing. And there is a name for what Em is going through: Role Strain.
Many leaders are currently navigating the same exhaustion. You’re not alone.
Role Strain (Merton, 1957)
Role strain occurs when the expectations associated with a single role (such as “director” or “manager”) are overwhelming or contradictory. You’re pulled in different directions, with not enough clarity, time, or energy to meet them all.
Other Examples are:
- A parent trying to provide financially while being emotionally present with their children.
- A senior manager tasked with hitting quarterly targets and fostering long-term innovation.
- A founder juggling investor demands, customer needs, and team well-being
- A multicultural leader adapting communication styles across different cultural stakeholder groups while staying authentic.
- The key insight from social psychology research: this exhaustion isn’t a personal failing—it’s a predictable response to structural role demands.
Here is what you can do to overcome role strain:
“Becoming is better than Being.” – Carol Dweck
II. 2 Practical Tools based on the Ziva Way Method
Tool 1: Vulnerability Signaling
Admit what you know and what you don’t. Far from weakening trust, this builds it. When you frame vulnerability with confidence, you show courage and authenticity, and your team feels safer being open as well.
Tool 2: Shared Sensemaking
Invite your team into the process: “Here’s what I see. What’s your perspective?”
This reduces your burden, harnesses collective intelligence, and fosters stronger alignment in uncertain situations.
3. Additional Resources:
Article: How leaders can tap the power of vulnerability
Book : Sensemaking in Organizations
Podcast: Why You Should Rethink A Lot More Than You Do
Feel free to email me back or comment on LinkedIn and let’s start the conversation.
See you soon,
Dr. Kinga
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