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1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders: How To Let Go Of Negative Self-Beliefs

How to let go of negative self-beliefs Welcome to 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps ambitious

How to let go of negative self-beliefs

Welcome to 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps ambitious people lead their lives and careers intentionally with confidence and energy. Has someone forwarded you this? Subscribe here so you don’t miss the next one.

Today we are going to talk about:

The science of feeling like you don’t belong and how to make yourself belong
negative self-beliefs you need to overcome
practical exercises on how to overcome negative self-beliefs
additional resources to get ideas and inspiration for your leadership journey

Dear curious mind,
Imagine feeling like you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You belong and know what you have to offer to the world and the people around you. Do me a favor and read the following quote out loud.

“I feel confident about what I’m able to do, and I think I should be here doing it.” – Jo Dunkley.

How does it make you feel?
When I came across this quote in Janice Kaplan’s book ‘The Genius of Women’ 3 things came to my mind:

It is up to you to make yourself feel comfortable in the space you want to be.
Confidence comes from believing in yourself.
People will only know how to support you if you speak up and share your ideas.

Practical Self-Development Tools

1. Self-Belief Reframe Journal

Objective: Identify, challenge, and reframe negative self-beliefs.

Instructions:

Step 1: Identify Negative Beliefs
Start by writing down any negative self-beliefs that you notice throughout the day. These might include thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t belong here,” or “I need to work harder to be recognized.”
Step 2: Challenge the Belief
For each negative belief, ask yourself:
- Is this belief based on facts or assumptions?
- What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?
- What would I say to a friend who expressed this belief about themselves?
Step 3: Reframe the Belief
Rewrite each negative belief into a positive or neutral statement. For example:
- “I’m not good enough” becomes “I am continuously growing and improving.”
- “I don’t belong here” becomes “I belong wherever I choose to be and have valuable contributions to make.”

Outcome: Over time, this exercise will help you build a habit of recognizing and reframing negative self-beliefs, leading to a more positive self-perception.

2. Visualization of Success

Objective: Build confidence and a positive self-identity by visualizing yourself succeeding.

Instructions:

Step 1: Find a Quiet Space
Sit in a comfortable position in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
Step 2: Visualize Your Ideal Self
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation where you feel confident and successful. Picture yourself achieving your goals, whether it’s leading a meeting, giving a presentation, or simply interacting confidently in a social setting.
Step 3: Engage All Your Senses
Make the visualization as vivid as possible by engaging all your senses:
- What do you see? (Yourself smiling, others responding positively)
- What do you hear? (Your voice, others’ encouraging words)
- What do you feel? (Confidence, calmness, empowerment)
Step 4: Affirm Your Success
As you visualize, repeat a positive affirmation that resonates with you, such as “I am capable and belong here” or “I am a confident leader.”

Outcome: Regularly practicing this can help you internalize a positive self-image, reinforcing your belief in your ability to succeed.

These exercises are designed to be simple yet powerful tools for shifting your mindset and reinforcing a more positive and empowered self-identity.