The Power of Meaning in Tough Choices
– Welcome to Your Pocket Coach—the bi-weekly boost for leaders and ambitious minds! Every issue brings you one powerful idea to help tackle a common challenge, two practical exercises, and three resources enabling you to lead your life and career with confidence and energy.
- We Are Feeling Beings That Think
- The Role of Cognitive Dissonance
- What Is an E-Conundrum?
- Decisions Aren’t About Uncertainty—They’re About Emotion
Imagine your teenager’s dance audition to Juilliard falls on the same day as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a guest speaker at a major industry conference. Both bring immense joy, but both also bring conflicting emotions. Choosing one can feel like betraying the other, leading to resentment, guilt, or frustration.
- Does attending the conference make you a bad parent?
- Does skipping the conference mean you’re undervaluing your professional aspirations?
In these moments, it’s common to feel anger or frustration—sometimes directed at no one in particular. The stakes feel high, and the emotional weight is undeniable.
My advice: Choose the path that most aligns with your life’s purpose. Knowing your “why” can help you move past the guilt and focus on the meaning behind your decision. As Dr. Emily Nagoski reminds us of the power of meaning: ‘We can tolerate any suffering if we know why. And not knowing why is, itself, a profound type of suffering.’
- What decision aligns most closely with my life’s purpose?
- How does this choice reflect the vision I have for myself and those I care about?
Practical Self-development tools
- Define the Decision
- Write down the decision you need to make (e.g., Should I attend my child’s audition or the industry conference?).
- List Your Options
- Clearly state both options you’re considering.
- Map Your Emotions
- For each option, list all the emotions you feel. Be honest and include both positive and negative emotions.
- Example for attending the audition:
- Joy: I’m supporting my child’s dream.
- Relief: I won’t regret missing a milestone.
- Guilt: I’m neglecting my professional growth.
- Example for attending the conference:
- Excitement: A chance to advance my career.
- Pride: Recognition for my hard work.
- Sadness: Missing a meaningful moment with my child.
- Example for attending the audition:
- For each option, list all the emotions you feel. Be honest and include both positive and negative emotions.
- Identify Alignment with Purpose
- Review your list of emotions for each option. Ask yourself:
- Which emotions reflect my core values and purpose?
- Which emotions feel most authentic and fulfilling to me?
- Review your list of emotions for each option. Ask yourself:
- Decide With Insight
- Use your analysis to guide your decision, choosing the path that resonates most deeply with your sense of meaning and purpose.
- List both choices you’re considering.
- For each option, ask yourself: Why does this matter to me? Write the answer.
- Repeat the question “Why?” for each answer until you reach the core value driving your choice.
- Review the final answers for each option and identify which aligns most closely with your life’s purpose.
- Use this insight to make a confident, purpose-driven decision.
3. Additional Resources:
01
Podcast Suggestion
Playfully connect on a deeper level
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor – How to shape your life through a better understanding of the brain
02
Talk Suggestion
How To Approach Self-Development
Joe Hudson, The Founder of Art of Accomplishment, teaches the three main things to consider when approaching the self-development journey: Gratitude, Experimentation and Authenticity.
03
Bi-Weekly Book Recommendation
The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
A great read filled with humor and science. In my opinion the most effective way to release stress and learn how to prevent burnout.
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