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Success isn’t about doing it all

Success isn’t about doing it all ?? Welcome to 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps ambitious

Success isn't about doing it all

🌱🧠 Welcome to 1-2-3 Social Psychology for Leaders, a bi-weekly newsletter that helps ambitious people lead their lives and careers intentionally with confidence and energy. Has someone forwarded you this? Subscribe here so you don’t miss the next one.

Feeling the pressure to do it all? It’s time for a new definition of success.

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Here’s what truly matters:

The Importance of Mental Health for High Achievers
2 Exercises
3 Self-Development Recommendations

Dear curious mind,

Today’s newsletter is a little bit different from the others. It is more personal. While I am still adjusting from my incredible trip to South Africa, I want to share with you some of the lessons I was reminded of again.

Yes, I can’t speak enough of South Africa. For some of you, it might be a different place— I am talking about the place that allows you to slow down, be who you are, and truly live in the present moment.

While I was on the other side of the world, my best friend’s words caught my attention. After a few days together, she pointed out that she was glad I was “back to myself.” And asked me, “Why does the US make you feel like you’re not successful? You’ve never had this kind of self-doubt before.”

That question stopped me in my tracks because it hit the core of what I’ve been feeling but hadn’t voiced it yet: I no longer feel successful.

For me, feeling successful intrinsically motivates me to keep going—it’s the sense that I’m on the right path. I would even go so far as to say that success isn’t just an achievement; it’s a feeling. And while the business world often defines success through numbers, personal success isn’t always measurable.

From a social psychology perspective, success is often defined as a form of self-fulfillment—a sense of satisfaction with life, the ability to manage its challenges, and an awareness of one’s own capabilities. But success means different things to different people:

Staying true to your purpose: Finding joy even in challenges and having the courage to pursue your path.
Living in alignment with your values: Connecting with others authentically rather than seeking acceptance through status.
Realizing your full potential: Self-actualization is a never-ending journey to make the most of what you’ve been given.
Focusing on what matters most: Finding the time and space in your life to make it count.

Reflecting on this, I realized something deeper: Success is also about social health—the connections and value we bring to the people around us.

Social health is more than just hearing compliments or receiving recognition. It’s about feeling part of something larger, where you bring value to your community and, in a broader sense, the world. It’s the quality of your relationships, the support systems you cultivate, and your sense of belonging.

In many ways, social health is integral to our sense of success. Research shows that strong social connections improve mental and physical health, increase longevity, and are key predictors of overall life satisfaction. In other words, our social ties shape our experience of success just as much as any personal achievement.

What really makes me feel successful is quality time with close friends and family members. By quality time, I mean time to laugh, be silly and be in the moment. The more I am in the moment, the more successful and alive I feel.

How about you? What does success mean to you? How do your relationships and social well-being influence your sense of accomplishment?

Today, I have two exercises for you that I hope will enable you to feel a little bit more successful and content with where you are.

Practical Self-Development Tools

Exercise 1: Define Your Personal Success Statement

Take 5 minutes to answer these prompts:

When do I feel the most fulfilled?
What values guide my decisions and bring me a sense of success?
What’s one action that makes me feel aligned with my purpose?
Using your answers, write a short “personal success statement.” It might look like: “Success for me means feeling connected, purposeful, and aligned with my values.”

Exercise 2: Connection Check-IN

Set time aside for family and/or friends:

Reflect on the people who bring out the best in you and who you trust to share your successes and struggles.
Write down two names and make a plan to reach out this week. It could be a quick “checking in” text, sharing something meaningful, or planning a catch-up.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” –

Aristotle

3. Additional Resources:

Podcast Suggestion

why listen?

Scott is Joined By Author And Social Health Expert Kasley Killam. Scott And Kalsey Discuss The Importance Of Prioritizing Social Health And Why Cultivating Relationships Is As Important As Diet, Exercise And Sleep

Talk Suggestion

tedx talk

How Important Is Mental Health At Your Workplace?

Bi-Weekly Book Recommendation

Bi-weekly book recommendation

Presence By Amy Cuddy

A brilliant book that helps you to understand how to access personal power and be present when it matters.

A MUST-READ.

Please let me know what topics you would like to learn more about by simply responding to this email.

If you enjoy this newsletter please share it with peole you believe would benefit from it.

Thanks for your support!

PS: Join me on November 7th at 12 PM EST for an online hands-on workshop on Confident Leadership. Sign Up Here.

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